Steve’s Stories - Issue I: Mullet Memorabilia, Beach Naps and "Talkin' Rigs"
I can't remember when I made the decision to drive around Australia. To pack my life into my car and set off on the open road with no real timeline or destination. Actually, I'm not sure I ever really did make that decision at all. It just kinda leaked into existence. Yet here I am, one week in, sitting in a town called Dargo (population: 50) living out of my Jeep and already 1,000km from home...
Every morning on the road, I sit down with a coffee and write in my diary. I usually just record the little things that happened the day before - "I found a hidden beach", "I met a crazy biker", "I ate the best banana bread in the world" - the little moments that I would have forgotten within a week if I didn't write them down. These are the moments that brought me the most joy (usually) when doing them and the ones that will make me smile, laugh or cry when I read them back in a few years. And I don't want to forget them.
Some of these little notes are stories. Some of them are even good stories, and I want to share them. So, this is my first issue of “Steve’s Stories”, the tales from my time on the road, driving around Australia.
"Chopped Mullets, Beach Naps and "Talkin' Rigs"
"Dargo; The Middle of Everywhere" - that's what the sign reads on the way into this tiny town in the Victorian High Country. I admire their ambition, but I can tell you for a fact that Dargo is not the "Middle of Everywhere". In fact, it's the middle of fucking nowhere. It's got a population of about 50 people, one shop and one pub.
When I got into Dargo I went straight to it’s one shop - the kind of shop that sells "provisions" not groceries - to see what I should do in the area. I approached the middle aged lady behind the counter and asked; "so, what is there to do in Dargo?". She looked over at her colleague who was sitting at the side of the counter, thumbing through some newspaper, then looked back to me; "well... there's fishing... hanging out at the pub and.... fishing." Right, better do all three.
The pub in Dargo is called the Dargo River Inn and it's the kind of pub I've been searching for. It's old, has all kinds of random memorabilia on the walls, a pool table, a dart board and a beer garden, they play country music and host clientele that will keep you entertained for hours.
One such group was a bunch of Aussie lads who were in Dargo for work. Myself and Mikey (my brother who is my co-pilot for a few weeks) were playing pool inside when we heard a shout from the beer garden "He's gonna do it! We've got a scissors! He's gonna do it!". Ten seconds later one of the guys comes bursting in through the door, holding his hand over his head, with a huge lock of hair in his fist. "We bloody did it. We chopped his mullet!" Walking in behind him came the victim of the mullet chopping. He looked a bit sad about the loss of his hair but he also seemed proud to be the source of the night's entertainment. The most impressive thing, was that even with this massive chunk of hair missing from his head, he still had one of the longest, finest mullets I've ever seen. The group then came to the unanimous decision that his lock of mullet should join the memorabilia on the walls of the Dargo River Inn. So they bunched it up and placed it under the peak of one of the caps sitting on the shelves. They all stood back, clearly proud of their evening’s work. The chopped mullet guy sighed and looked up at it; "Great", he said " Now I'm gonna have to drive four hours to see my own hair". God bless Aussies and their mullets.
Every trip has a special moment. One that you'll always remember, even if you don't write it down. My first one of those happened on a beach just north of Merimbula. We got there around midday, looking for a cool spot to fly the drone - which we found, even if somewhat illegal. Our drone flight was awesome, spotting a huge pod of dolphins as well as a secluded patch of beach that was calling our name. We scrambled down through the bush and across some rocks to find out little sliver of heaven obediently waiting for us. We dumped our bags on the rocks and ran into the sea. The water was crystal clear and we swam and snorkelled and body-surfed the waves before getting out and lying down in the sun. The temperature was perfect. Warm enough to dry the water from our skin and to melt our muscles as we lay on the sand, yet not so warm that we broke a sweat and got that restless feeling that comes with too much heat like when you're in a sauna. There was a light breeze blowing and we soon both drifted off into a beach nap.
There are a lot of variations on the humble nap, each with their own merits, but a special place in the nap hall of fame is reserved for the beach nap. You're not really asleep during a beach nap. You’re just drifting through a cozy state of unconsciousness, listening to the waves and feeling the sun on your skin. A beach nap has a melting property, it melts your muscles - vanquishing aches and pains - and melts your mind - turning it into a fluid like substance where problems don’t exist. I love beach naps.
Merimbula is a busy seaside town right at the southern end of New South Wales and it's a popular family holiday destination. When I got there I checked into a nice Holiday park. Holiday Parks are kinda fancy campsites with good facilities - I'm talking hot showers, laundry and power. I needed all of them. Across from our site, in the corner of the campground, there was a backyard cricket game going on. Three families worth of kids, teenagers and full grown adults, boys and girls, all bowling, batting and screaming "HOWZAT?!". It was so wholesome to watch. We obviously looked like we wanted to join in because it didn't take long for one of the dads to get us involved. And so we played with them, beer in hand and chatted. The two Dads of the group took particular interest in us. "Hey, it's time for Irish to bat. Give Irish a go and see if he can get any runs!". It was hilarious, easy and so wholesome.
The next morning, one of the Dads - the one with the massive calves - came over to me as I was standing at the back of the Jeep. "Nice set-up ya got there" he said. He was as keen to talk about my setup as I was to play cricket with him the night before. He asked me questions about the Jeep, most of which I had no idea about and so just bluffed some sort of generic response. He slowly wandered around the jeep, poking and proding it. After about ten minutes, the second Dad came over - the overly competitive one with the quick wit - pulling a golf trolley behind him . "What are you fellas up to?". Big Calves Dad turned his head towards him and responded; "just talkin' rigs". I loved that. A few blokes standing around with their hands on the hips, talkin' rigs. I suspect I'll spend a lot of time talkin' rigs on this trip...
Notable mentions:
I’ve came across some great spots on the trip so far. I’ll include the best ones in this section each week.
Honeymoon Bay - a very popular but great swimming spot in Jervis Bay. You can camp there but it's very busy and I'm not sure if it's worth it.
Hidden Creek Campground - a beautiful family run hipcamp site near Huskisson that allows fires.
Greenfield Patch - a small, crescent moon sized beach near Huskisson on Jervis bay. Much quieter than the famous Hyams but arguably much nicer.
Salt Cafe in Naroom - a cracker of a cafe with coffee that would rival any Surry Hills establishment, banana bread that tastes like a cookie and a deck with some of the best people watching you can imagine (the deck is on the lake, right at the jetty where tourists can get small rental boats - watching them trying to get in these boats and navigate there way past the small pontoon is sadistic and highly entertaining.
Tilba Tilba - a quaint country down in the NSW hills. It's got craft stores and lovely cafes. The kind of place you would go for a month if you wanted to write a book.
Tura Beach - home of the beach nap. A massive, beautiful beach with no-one on it.
Dulcies Cottage - Merimbula - great burgers and beers. It's a converted victorian cottage with an outdoor area full of picnic tables and fairy lights.
Bar Beach Kiosk - Merimbula - a special cafe perched above Bar Beach in Merimbula with benches looking out over the water. There's a surf break on the sand bar about 200m directly out from the cafe that is well protected and looks super fun if there's a bit of swell. It’s the kind of place you will order another coffee just so you don't have to leave.
Dargo and The Dargo River Inn - if you like hills and nothingness, the Victorian High Country is a must. Dargo is weird and wonderful.
Tostaree farm stay - a country farm with a beautiful campsite, on the edge of Victorian high country.